My wish for Jorji: Grace & Freedom

Jorji”s blog- 3/17/18- Hi, I’m Jorji’s youngest sister Amy ( also known as "Em"). Upon hearing of the news of my big sister Jorji being found unconscious at home by her oldest daughter Melanie who immediately drove her to the hospital, I came down from Logan to be nearby to visit my sister Jorji and help. As I write this It’s 5 AM, Fri. 3-16-18, just a few days out from my big sister Jorji entering the hospital to confront this phase of her cancer treatment. As I lay a wake in bed at my sister Pam’s house after waiting four days in the hospital while Jorji regains control of her blood calcium level, her strength, I am thinking about her Oncologist, Dr. Rich’s Q&A with much of the extended family in her small hospital room, and how beautifully he handled our questions, deftly leaving each one of us the access to be able to discover that that these will be hard days ahead. Dr. Rich seems to be the consummate professional.  For so long now- ever since learning of her cancer-  I continue to pray the prayer I have prayed countless times for God’s grace and love, that will surely carry her- and all of us who love her- through this with as much joy, gratitude and comfort as possible.

Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty,
my memory, my understanding,
and my entire will,
All I have and call my own.

You have given all to me.
To you, Lord, I return it.

Everything is yours; do with it what you will.
Give me only your love and your grace,
that is enough for me.

This prayer is my mainstay, because it reminds me that while we all have challenges in life: How much better will the outcome of our actions be if we ask for God’s grace before we act? I believe this is they to stunning success, and I believe joy can always be found, even in suffering, with God’s grace.

 I am thinking of my conversations with Jorji in her hospital room, after all of her visitors had gone, in the wee hours of the morning about our sisterhood, how our lives had played out so differently and what she is facing now with her cancer. We had talked like this before, but this time it seemed like there was  a simple honesty to it that brought some clarity. What became clear was that perhaps she and I should switch perspectives?! Her perspective- experiences, aspirations, expectations….-etc. as the eldest sister of four in our family and then mine, as the youngest in our family were so very different. Our parents had divorced in 1968-when she was thirteen and I was eight, and Jorji had been given alot of responsibility where I had been given a lot of freedom. This seemed a natural occurrence. As well, her responsibility and my freedom seemed to go to an extreme when our divorced parents were single parents, and this trend continued with their respective remarriages and with more children.  With this in mind, it’s fun to think about switching places for now. I like to think about Jorji having less responsibility and more freedom for important things we often do not have a lot of time for like prayer, her creative leisure activities, rest, reading…-.etc. – Yay! I just thought of fun scrapbook/journal activity that allows for maximum freedom to surprise her with😊 See you soon sweet sister! Love, Em