I apoligize in advance for writing this while I am so emotionally charged. Sometimes my mind can't handle all that is happening in my heart. Life has flipped upside-down like the Colossus Roller Coaster over the last week-and-a half.
My mom will leave the hospital to go home today. She is now alert and understands the severity of her incurable metastatic cancer. She said funny things in her confused state, and to mix laughter with tears, I want to share her confused moments:
She stated that she was concerned for the nurse who repeatedly asked her name and birthday. At this point, she often couldn't fully answer the question.
"We are all eachother's teenagers...Why did I say that?" was her random response to her brother.
She was convinced that her sister, Amy, still lived in California. When in reality, Amy moved to Utah quite some time ago.
She carried on a full conversation with herself about how Amanda can now fly planes after Mand told her that she quickly flew here from Pennsylvania.
I have had some very personal tender moments with my mom already. She told me, "I'm not afraid to die, not at all. Actually, I feel very much at peace because I know it's all true!"
She reminded me, "I'll always be with you, Cam, always!" My mom is one of my best friends and my earthly angel, and I know for certain that she will be my personal heavenly angel.
She acted as if she was on a roller coaster ride at the hospital as we went through the elevator doors. This is the craziest ride of our lives.
Today, I can only agree with this Patty Loveless song that Meli texted to me.
"It's ok to hurt and it's ok to cry!"
I love my mom. My heart is forever broken.
No comments:
Post a Comment