What Just Happened!

As I sit by her hospital bed and watch her peacefully sleep; I can't help but be drawn into a contemplative trance and I replay the most recent events through my mind. I can't help but ask myself; What just happened? It still seems so surreal; even though there have been 10 mornings, afternoons, and evenings pass in the hospital. The memory of her blank stare may be etched in my mind forever as I woke her to see if she was ok. She could reply only with her eyes. Eyes crying out for help! It was obvious that this was something more than back pain caused by a bulging disk!

Fortunately, Melanie, our daughter and Shawn, our daughter's boyfriend showed up soon after to make a Sunday afternoon meal. Their enthusiasm was soon dashed after hearing about her condition. Melanie's concern helped me realize even more the gravity of the situation.

A recent doctor's visit indicated that the pain she was experiencing was caused by a bulging disc; so we had set up appointments to have that confirmed; however, it was obvious that she could not wait. My suspicions about her condition were that she was not getting the rest she needed; since her symptoms were similar to the way she is when she is very, very tired. The back pain she was experiencing was a simple explanation for why she would be so, so tired.

I went to get Mark, our neighbor and brother-in-law to give her a quick blessing. Immediately after the blessing it was clear what we should do. We quickly loaded her up and sped off to the Utah Valley Regional hospital.

While waiting at the hospital; the thought occurred to us that she may have accidentally over-medicated. Judging from her eyes and her inabilities it seemed that that could also be a plausible explanation.

After checking her into the hospital, having several tests and scans performed, and waiting what seemed like an eternity; the emergency doctor walked into the waiting room and asked all to leave except me; her husband. At that time you could feel the hearts of all in the room sink to the depths of despair. I felt like we were the stars in some horrible episode of ER. Once everyone cleared the room; the doctor announced that my dear Jorji had breast metastasis cancer in her spine. The cancer had deteriorated her lower vertebrae to the point where toxic levels of calcium had leached out into her blood stream. I was absolutely stunned; not able to speak. She had expressed concern over this very thing happening to her time and time again; being extremely careful to do everything in her power, after her initial fight with cancer, to avoid such a nightmare from ever occurring again. Hearing the word 'Spine' even made it worse! Cancer in the spine! Talk about a double whammy! The Doctor asked how I would like to tell the others. I chose him to break the news as it was all I could do to accept this; much less tell the others.

As you can imagine, a flurry of questions followed that long awaited dreadful announcement. Some were answered; but most were not. There was simply not enough information yet. So there we were left to play the 'hurry up and wait game". As the night unfolded; we were elated by the good news: her brain, lungs, stomach, and thorax are clear! Then the sobering bad news. The cancer had spread up and down her entire spine, through her liver, and also in her pelvic bone. Her lower vertebrae were suffering from small micro fractures and deterioration from the cancer; causing a compression of her spine. The compression of her spine and the fractures rubbing against it were the cause of the pain she had been experiencing all that time!

Then came the moment; Jorji was wheeled into her room. The doctor asked me how I wanted her to be told of the news. Again I deferred to the doctor as my head was still spinning. We all filed into her room. Her first immediate question was 'Am I ok?' (or something like that). I encouraged her to wait for the doctor; but anyone that knows Jorji knows she can't wait for such things. So I replied 'No! You are not ok! The cancer has come back!' That is all I could say. The doctor later came in and filled her in on the details...

Words cannot express the thanks for the team of doctors, nurses, and other staff that rushed to her rescue. Words also cannot express the relief that I felt after learning that they would be able to bring her back to her normal self. After days in the hospital, her speech, strength, and mental functions returned. How joyful that day was when we first saw her personality emerge. The first sign of hope showed up for me when a single (not married) nurse walked into her room while my son Troy was sitting next to her. She looked at the nurse, he looked at the nurse, then he looked at Jorji just in time to see her wink. She never misses an opportunity...

Now I sit on the eve of her release from the hospital and marvel at what the doctors have been able to do in such a short period of time! Absolutely amazing!! Thank you very very much!!! Thanks to them we all have our Jorji back!

However, with all that doctors can do; there are some things they cannot do. She will die from cancer as she is terminal. The million dollar question is how long? We were quoted some various stats about life expectancy that I'll have to admit I really didn't understand. It all boils down to; we really don't know for sure until the results of the biopsy of her liver is known. Then we will know more about how to treat her; but still the when question is unknown. Essentially what we know now is that she could live for weeks, or months, or even a miracle. I'm still trying to wrap my mind, heart, and soul around all this.